Stem Cell Angst

Don't be fooled. The current bill in Congress to expand stem cell research has nothing to do with catching up to the South Koreans or opening up a back door for reproductive cloning. All it would do is expand the availability of embryonic stem cells to already created embryos that have been set to be discarded by fertility clinics.

Some say this is about ethics and that we should err on the side of caution when it comes to using federal money for something that certain people find morally objectionable. Morality aside, the president's initial ban and veto is a real danger to the autonomy of science. It would be a more consistent position (and safer for government science in the long run) for ESC research to be considered outright illegal. The reality of the situation is that the NIH is by far the major funder of American medical research, as well as employing many of the top scientists in the country. Congress and the president should not be able to micromanage what can and cannot get funded. If, as some say, no American taxpayer should be required to fund from her own dollars what she regards as a moral outrage, what is to stop the public from pushing to pull all federal research in HIV? Or other STDs? Or genetic disorders that primarily affect Jews like Tay-Sachs disease? Or to stop funding on individual, peer-reviewed grants that they deem morally repugnant, like Congress attempted to do a few years ago on certain AIDS and transgendered studies? I am a huge supporter of federalism, but states and private companies cannot and shouldn't have to pick up the slack in this arena of national interest (even though they seem to be doing a good job of it). If the American people feel that it is important to fund medical research with federal tax dollars, they should accept what the scientists deem promising enough to fund and not second-guess the peer-review process.

Yet if its ethics you are concerned with, consider this: when Bush limited the stem cell lines government scientists were allowed to use, ESC research was about 3 years old. That's worse than saying it was in its infancy as a science. In those days, the only way they could get ESCs to proliferate was to grow them on a layer of mouse "feeder" cells, which we have recently discovered have contaminated the approved cell lines so that they are probably unusable. In fact, it is quite possible that to attempt to use these lines for any therapeutic treatment would be unethical, given their state. In other words, the ban itself is probably unethical, since the president is more or less saying that he gives scientists permission to continue to pursue therapeutic uses of ESCs as long as they continue to use cell lines that would be unethical to actual use therapeutically.

But of course this never comes up. Nor does the fact that it was politicians and pundits in the 80s that started using the term "embryo" for any stage past a fertilized egg; to an embryologist you have to progress considerably farther. Nor is mentioned that fertilization and conception are functionally two different stages; that women have eggs that are fertilized much more frequently than they conceive.

Of course ethics is about peoples opinions, but they need to have informed opinions. And for anyone to conflate the current debate over the expansion of ESC research with the advent of human cloning is particularly uninformed.

The Worst Week Ever

My friend, Phatiwe, passed away last Thursday after a grueling year with cancer. She was 27. I spent the next five days in Boston, mourning with my friends, all of whom came rushing up as soon as they heard. It was extraordinarily unpleasant. As were the numerous phone calls to people I hadn't spoken too since after graduation, having to hear the elation in their voices because I'd called quickly fade when they were told why. It's not something anyone should have to do. Ever.

We did send her off proper, though. She left explicit instructions on what bars we had to crawl to and made sure we wound up in Chinatown when we were done, gorging on crab rangoon and roast duck. Typical; even after she was dead she managed to tell us what to do. And after we settled up the bill at one of her favorite hangouts, the bartender told us that the first round was on Phatiwe; I think it's the first time I've ever cried in public.

She was loved by many, many people; the funeral home couldn't hold everyone who came. She had a few dozen high school friends and co-workers, as well as us. But aside from her parents, the ol' college gang was the most visibly broken up, especially Jen who had been the only one left in Boston to take care of this miserable experience for the past year.

I realized throughout this whole crapfest that you really do form something important during those late night runs to Denny's in West Lebanon. When you live together at such a young age, you get very close. You grow up together. Phatiwe, Sandra and I spent the first snowstorm of our freshman year making snow angels in front of Baker Tower. We spent the last snowstorm of senior year making snow angels in front of the New Dorms. The only difference is that, in the latter case, I had drunken a whole bottle of gin and was only wearing a T-shirt. See, we grew up.

No one deserves to die, but if they did Phatiwe should have been the last in line. She was a beautiful, compassionate person, even to the end when she didn't want anyone to have to see her losing. Which isn't surprising when you consider that she would grow her nails out specifically so she could attain maximum maiming during a game of Egyptian Rat Screw, guaranteeing that you would never have a chance to win ever again.

And yet for all the suckiness, I've come to appreciate how special my friends truly are and how goddamn lucky I am to have them. Really, really lucky. For all the growing up we were supposed to do in college, it was those stupid, childish antics that really bound us together. Well, Mom, I think I finally grew up.

And it fucking sucks.

May: When Everyday Is The Third of the Month!

With all this wonderful weather and my brawls with lit tobacco products, I nearly forgot that May is a very, very special month. Every May the rest of the world recognizes the mission of the Third of the Month, the importance of loving yourself to your truest and fullest capacity. While you're convincing yourself of how wonderful you are, you might want to think of one of the numerous ways that your time and effort can benefit others. And don't worry if you're new to the joys and wonders of the Third of the Month; help is available for all those who need it. And don't be shy. Don't be embarrassed by the fact that you love and cherish your uniqueness. You're not the only one. And there's absolutely nothing wrong about treating yourself right. Unless you're doing it wrong.

Where Does The Time Go?...

I have told myself that I will have the discussion to my paper written by Friday, when my advisor returns from a meeting. This morning I wrote the word "Discussion". This afternoon I decided it needed to be underlined.

I think I'm off to a good start.

Embarrassing Celebrity Crushes

We all have them. We don't want to admit it, but we do. That celebrity that gives you that little tingle whenever you see them but you don't want to tell anyone for fear of being mocked? Yeah, that one. Sure, we all have those crushes that no one bats an eye at; the crushes that everyone else has so it's universally ok. Like my unbearable crush on Orlando Bloom and my unnatural attraction to Nicole Kidman (or maybe it's the other way around). Or more recently, Seth Meyer, who's both cute and relatively funny.

But then there's the uncool ones. Like a close personal friend of mine has always had a thing for Diedrich Bader, the guy who plays Osgood on "The Drew Carey Show". Or yet another friend has a thing for Rachael Ray. These are unnatural, unwarranted obsessions and should remain undisclosed.

Yet as a cleansing ritual of sorts, I am going to confess to the whole world my embarassing celebrity crush: Donovan Patton. Yes, that's right, the guy who replaced that Steve guy on Blue's Clues. Got that? Blue's Clues. It's really disturbing. I sometimes can't leave my apartment in the morning because I have to watch the whole show just in case that today is the day he takes his shirt off at the end. It's sick. I am a sick, twisted individual. I need to put out of my misery.

Fatty Acid Head

I have learned, much to my dismay, that the first witness called in the Kansas "kangaroo court" on Intelligent Design was William Harris, a leading authority on the importance of fish oils to human health.

My heart weeps.

Cinco de Que?

I've never been a huge fan of Cinco de Mayo, probably because I dislike tequila and Mexican food usually gives me gas. But I thought I should say something today because it does have a pretty cool date this year, 05-05-05.

But really, why the heck do we even care about this holiday? It's not like it's Mexican independence day; it's not like anything really important happened. So the Mexicans defeated the French at Puebla during the Napoleonic Wars. Big whoop. I mean, I guess by some stretch of the imagination you could say that that little tiny Mexican army kept the French from aiding the Confederate Army which subsequently allowed the Union to win the War of Northern Aggression. But by that same stretch of the imagination you could say that I have long, flowing hair or that the Cubs have a chance of winning the penant this year.

And yet, for some reason we still celebrate this stupid holiday. Oh well. Viva la Mexico.

Massaging the Data

I feel it is my job, as a scientist and a sane human being, to point out everything that is wrong with Maggie Gallagher. She has an article in the NRO this week calling for more money to help "protect" marriage. Pretty much it's the same old crap. But I'd like to point out two small issues I have. One is with statistics. She says:

The most striking (and underreported) results are those of the 2004

UCLA freshman poll released earlier this year, which surveys 290,000

college freshman. Between 2003 and 2004 the proportion of college

freshman who support gay marriage dropped almost three percentage

points, from 59.4 percent to 56.7 percent. This is the first recorded

drop in support for same-sex marriage among college freshman since the

question was first asked in 1997.

Well, aside from the fact that I am completely unable to find this poll on the internet, we should look carefully at those numbers. I'm no mathematician, but even with 290,000 people surveyed, I know of no drop of 3% that can be considered statistically significant; the margin of error doesn't improve that dramatically with a greater sample size. So maybe the reason it's underreported is that it isn't terribly striking. Even all of the other polls she cites as showing that Americans are increasingly opposed to gay marriage aren't that dramatic.

The Pew poll, which asks “Do you strongly favor, favor, oppose, or

strongly oppose allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally?,” showed

Americans’ opposition to SSM climbing from 53 percent v. 38 percent in

July 2003, to 60 percent v. 29 percent in the latest August of 2004

survey.

Notice how the question specifically asks for one of four choices and yet she lumps them into two. It be interesting and important to know how committed the citizenry is to their opposition. These are minor points, but it's the subversive ways that people use numbers and facts to support their positions or make small changes seem significant, that are subtly manipulative.

And then there's an interesting omission at the end of the article:

Two years from now, one-third of the country is likely to be living

with gay marriage. Pending court decisions in California, Washington

state, New Jersey (along with Massachusetts) are likely to produce a

fragmented marriage system despite overwhelming public opposition. And

other states, like New York, are taking a different route: forbidding

the performance of gay marriages in-state, but recognizing gay

marriages performed in nearby Massachusetts or Canada.

Where is Connecticut, which just approved civil unions that are significantly close to gay marriage, and did so legislatively? I'm hard-pressed to believe that Maggie Gallagher missed that little development. No, the reason that Connecticut isn't mentioned is because it doesn't fit into her nice little model of judical tyranny and forced acceptance. It doesn't matter that some of the country might actually want to be living with gay marriage. Nor does it matter that public opposition to gay marriage in Massachusetts is waning and that the citizens there are not punishing gay marriage-backing legislators but rather rewarding them. Because for people like Maggie Gallagher, the voice of the people is sacred and absolute, but only as long as the people are agreeing with your position.

Happy Belated Third of the Month!

If you're like me, your Third of the Month breezed by in flurry of self-indulgence and treating yourself like a god among gods. And like all good Thirds of the Month, it should have had its ups and downs, its pleasures and pains, its climaxes and denouements.

Yesterday was the 25th annual Vincent DuVigneaud student symposium. I gave a talk. I failed to win. Again. I am, however, not bitter. There were too many other more egregious injustices in the judging process to take the blow personally. And even though I did a kick-ass job of bringing it down to a plebeian level, nobody really appreciates biophysics.

So, I decided that, rather than drown my sorrows with a plethora of alcohol, I was going to celebrate my wonderfulness with a plethora of alcohol. And celebrate I did. It was just like old-times; free booze at Griffis, followed by a crowded TJs, polished off with Red Bull at the Banshee. Got into a fight with the lit end of a cigarette (my second loss of the day). Hung out with some cool people from Ithaca, one of whom was painfully cute. Pretty much how the Third of the Month should be. Only with cash prizes coming my way.

That said, wear plaid; it's good for your soul. Use moist towelettes; they're good for your health. And try to eat fatty fish several times a week. It's good for your ion channels.