I've Finally Made Up My Mind

For those of you who don't actually believe that one week before the election a voter could still be undecided, I submit that I indeed was pretty much undecided up until recently.

Bush was attractive to me because of his moral victories in Afghanistan and in Iraq, and his willingness not to kowtow to international pressures, especially the increasingly corrupt U.N. But he continues to remain unattractive to me for his fiscal irresponsibility, his constant attacks on civil liberties, his inept policies on science and science funding, and his willingness to pander to the religious right. And his last minute admission of support for civil unions for gays is insultling.

And yet, John Kerry, for all his successes in the debates, is still a (dare I fall into talking point cliches?) tax-and-spend liberal. The No-Child-Left-Behind Act has failed miserably, but Kerry isn't necessarily better. Bush's healthcare reform platform is flawed, but Kerry's isn't necessarily better. Kerry might be able to handle the international community with more finesse than Bush, but I don't want Germany pressuring me into who I choose to lead my country. And besides, France and Germany have already said that even if Kerry wins they are definitely not sending troops. The one place where the Democrats fare better than the Republicans, usually, is on gay rights, but when it comes down to it, Kerry is, um (fuck I'm going to do it again) a flip-flopper with no clear position. And I hate to sound like some radical traditionalist, there is absolutely no reason why Kerry should have to slavishly adhere to a pro-choice agenda in order to gain votes. Of course, when it comes to the seamless garmet of life, then-governor Bush had stepped up the death penalty rather than curtail it, or keep it at its status quo.

So really, what is a boy to do? Especially a boy who lives in one of the bluest states this side of the Mississippi, where (cliche number 3!) my vote really doesn't matter. Nader? Ha! He really should stick to consumer advocacy; its more becoming than his desparate pleas for legitimacy. Cobb? Dartmouth notwithstanding, Green is so not my color. That leaves one choice, my friends.

Michael Badnarik.

I know, I know, the man is absolutely off his rocker. And he seemed to come out of nowhere to get the Libertarian nomination. But more so than not I find myself agreeing with each and every point of the Libertarian platform. Sure Badnarik hasn't paid his income tax in years, plans on blowing up the U.N. on his eighth day of his presidency, and believes that prisoners should spend their first month of incarceration in bed so that their muscles will atrophy and the guards would be able to handle them easier. Sure, he's more of a right-wing constitutionalist than your run-of-the-mill moderate-to-right libertarian, but he's changing. Now that he has an actual influential voice, he realizes he doesn't need grass-roots civil disobedience in order to get his views across. And the LP has shaped him into a respectable candidate.

But that's really not the point. The real decision will be made by people who actually like one of the two main candidates or people who are too tired with the system to bother look outside. And the Libertarian Party needs a voice. Right now there is no place for a small-government, social liberal, fiscally conservative, pro-life, gay scientist in either party. The Republicans have hope, which is why I am not switching party affiliations, and will continue to work towards inclusion in the GOP. But unlike Andrew Sullivan, I haven't been able to jump on the Kerry bandwagon, even this late in the game.

So, call me crazy. Make accusations about third party votes. Tell me I'm copping out. Tell me I'm no better than those wacko Greens or that I'm fucking up the election like Perot or Nader supporters. But at least I know that I will have voted for someone who has the balls to say that he thinks the death penalty starts and ends at 2am in an ATM booth when some guy is trying to steal your money, rather than someone who thinks those decisions should be left up to the government.

This has been an emotionally exhausting process and for anyone who still is bewildered as to how it could take someone this long to make up their mind, in the spirit of the Third of the Month and in the words of Dick Cheney, go fuck yourself.