I'm Proud To Be Out...

... of town when the Gay Pride Parade is going on. I've never actually been, considering I find it garish, offensive and, oh, I hate parades (although the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island this weekend was, um, enjoyable). But the Pride Parade is my favorite parade for one reason and one reason only: It's the only major parade that doesn't run through my neighborhood, thereby fucking up traffic, public transportation and even walking for hours. I'm so happy that the Stonewall is in the Village and not under the Queensboro Bridge.