The Sky Is Falling... Again...

First it was my fault that the state of marriage in this country is crumbling, even though I'm not even allowed to get marriage. Then I was responsible for the Abu Gharib prison scandal (cuz ya know, all those soldiers got their ideas from looking at gay porn on the internet).

But this is the last straw! Now I'm being blamed for obesity. That's right, obesity. Lord Tebbit, former Conservative cabinet minister, had this to say:

"The root cause of this problem, like a number of others, is the break down in family life," he said, arguing that families "don't so often eat together" and that "wives are virtually pressurised into feeling they ought to go to work instead of looking after their children".

He said this decline in family life was due to the current government, which he accused of doing "everything it can to promote buggery"...

"We don’t only have an epidemic of obesity, we have a huge problem with AIDS. And the government's attitude is to do everything it can to promote buggery - knowing that those two are intimately connected."

At this point, Conservative MP Boris Johnson was keen to point out that "I don't think you can say gay marriage is the root cause of obesity".

So I'm now the reason that kids in England eat too much McDonald's.

But not only that, Florida state legislative candidate Ed Heeney told a Palm Beach County political meeting May that homosexuality has made it difficult for him to enjoy his pastime of billiards. His explanation: "(Y)ou have a situation where the lesbian community is buying restaurants and bars (and, presumably, removing the pool tables)."

Of course, I wonder when the last time that Ed was in a lesbian bar. Those dykes sure love their pool...

So now I'm going to keep a running total. We're responsible for the destruction of the family, the downfall of marriage, the abuse of children by Catholic priests, military torture scandals, RuPaul, obesity and the dirth of billiard tables in Florida. I will declare victory when I get publicly blamed for September 11th.