By the Power of Greyskull!

So I got into work late today because I happened to catch Masters of the Universe on HBO this morning and was sucked in. It was such a bad movie but it has that kitchy nostalgia that makes me go "awwww." And there's a stellar cast, too. Dolph Lundgren as a vaguely dim but well-cut He-Man being flogged by Star Wars style light-whips. Hot! (Mel Gibson would've been proud.) Then there's Frank Langella as Skeletor and Meg Foster as Evil-Lyn. Oh, and let's not forget about Courteney Cox. Yes, that Courteney Cox, making her motion picture debut. I wonder why nobody ever asks her about that in interviews.

I will admit, however, it brought up many memories. He-Man was in integral part of my childhood. I still have the He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special on VHS, where two little Earth kids teach Skeletor the meaning of Christmas. I owned, I kid you not, every single He-Man action figure, vehicle and fortress, as well as the first series of She-Ra (until they got a little too girly). The first A that I got on an essay in college was about He-Man (I'd post it, but my computer died on my last week and I can't remove the Sublime CD that's stuck inside so I'm pretty much screwed).

And then, the best moment of my adolescent life was when I got to meet Skeletor. No, not the cartoon, although if I'd met a cartoon I'd probably be living a lot closer to Bellevue right about now. I met Alan Oppenheimer, who did the voice of Skeletor. When I was 18 I saw him play Cecille B. DeMille in Sunset Boulevard (with Betty Buckley) and asked him to sign my playbill as "Skeletor." Not only did he do it, but he did the Skeletor voice, unprovoked by me, and said "I'll get you He-Man" and then did the Skeletor laugh. I think I pissed my pants. Best day of my life.

Thank you, Mr. Oppenheimer, wherever you are.