Van Hottie

Ok, so pretty much Hugh Jackman's Van Helsing has absolutely no redeeming qualities, aside from Kate Beckinsale's heaving breasts and 18th century stretch-pants. Oh, and of course Jackman gets naked and bruised at the end. Otherwise it was overacted and over-CGI'd. And we never really get to know who Van Helsing the man really is. Or what the actual plot might be. Or what the Vatican was doing with her own version of Q....

I am, however, waiting patiently for the sequel, because I'm dying to figure out the answers to all the intriguing loose ends they left...