If You Want Something Done...

... you might as well do it yourself. I've had a pigeon living under my air conditioner since last weekend (it happens, but a bit earlier this year). Last year was fine; I called maintenance and forgot about it. A few days later, no more pigeon.

Now this time, if I had just taken care of the vermin myself it've been over and done with in, oh, a few minutes. But I called maintenance again and just forgot about it. So I get a call from an exterminator sometime last week. We play telephone tag for days. Turns out he wants to know if he can come in on Monday. Great, I say. Or not. Because I have to be there. My 24 hour door staff can't take care of it because God forbid it cut into their precious dozing or phone calls to Jamaica. No, I have to take time out of my precious and busy day without water or a proper internet connection to wait for the exterminator.

Now at any point in this little charade I could have just kicked the bitch off the balcony, smashed the eggs and swept up the nest with a broom. But I had momentum. I had a schedule with the exterminator. And I'm a lazy git. So, two and half hours of waiting, an entire bag of Hershey's miniatures and bad afternoon television (which I've discovered even with 400 cabel channels is still excrutiatingly boring) the exterminator came and took care of my pigeon in, oh, a few minutes.

The upside is he washed my balcony.