The Price of Freedom

When gas prices began to rise I was initially concerned, because like all good Americans, I don't like to see the price of anything I consider a right (and isn't driving cheaply a right?) to rise. But then, being the good American that I was, I saw it as a necessary evil, the price we must pay for our free society. But then, like all good Americans fluent in German, schadenfreude got the best of me and was happy that gas prices have risen, considering the fact that I don't actually drive anywhere (and why shouldn't I be happy? My taxes are going to subsidize the gasoline industry so that small-dicked asswipes can drive their H2s through the oh so dangerous streets of the Upper East Side).

But then, alas, like all good Americans, I didn't say anything until they came for me... A 24% taxi fare hike? What are they f*cking trying to do to me!?!??! This is f*cking outrageous. I shouldn't have to shell out eight bucks for a ride to Nobu because some money grubbing big-wig prick-wads can't manage an industry. Aren't there any more wildlife reserves we can start drilling?! Maybe a few more Middle Eastern countries we can invade? Hell, I've heard Canada has a ton of oil and they're a bunch of limp-wristed, pot-smoking queers so they shouldn't put up much of a fight.

All I know is that if someone doesn't do something about this right now, I might have to start taking the bus. And quite frankly, freedom isn't worth that much...